Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I'm definitely planning on being at various conferences, the Anarchist Bookfair LA, UCR's Queer People of Color Conference, Philly's Trans-Health Conference, SisterSong in Miami, and maybe some other ones that might sneak in there.
Also, I'm willing to go where people invite me to go, for example, New York (possibly May into June). It's been a long time coming and in the works to hold workshops there, book individual Sexological Bodywork Sessions, etc. Also planning on running the 5 week workshop in Miami from June through July. The purpose of the 5 weeks is to be able to follow at least one menstrual cycle for uterine size check.
So from this point forward it's all about making the right connections with the right folks who are ready to make this revolution happen.
Monday, October 18, 2010
It's unbelievable how an injury that ocurred when I was 12 years old could still affect me today. The injury was a car accident that sent me flying off my bicycle and landing sideways- this stretched my left knee ligament so much that it almost snapped, so as it healed it created scar tissue in multiple places. I believed I had completely recovered from it when I stopped feeling pain. I havea a suspicion that its ahat is causing me pain in my face near my left upper teeth. I believe it exacerbates my dental work.
I had inner-vaginal mapping done and found that I have considerable tension in the 3p to 6p areaof the pelvic floor. Basically this is the parts that connect to the back left side of my knee, all the way up to my pelvic floor muscles. As my practitoner palpated these spots, I would breathe and the tension would unfurl under her still fingertip. WHen she would go back to the same spot, the tension was gone, so we moved on to the next spot. Little by little this 18 YEAR OLD SCAR was melting.
That evening I experienced my body as a more open vessel. I began to dance to loud music and was acquainted with a new motility in my hips and leg. I could feel my torso elongate. The sexy rolling motion I've been doing on my right side for years, I can now do on my left side with out this little click I used to feel. My breath is fuller, I think clearer now and I think I'm experiencing less anxiety. I feel freedom in my body, I had no idea that I had this much restriction in movement. It's opening me up to more sensations.
I also had the opportunity receive anal mapping and we discovered tight muscles near my tailbone. My tailbone is pulled in and towards the left of my spine.The practioner carefully and slowlycould put her finger on each spot of tension. I would breathe towards that area and again I could feel a stretch all the way to the front of my face. I could even feel a release of tension in my ear.
The palpation began at the lower abdomen between the public bone and navel. I could feel a ropey thickness in the right fallopian tube. I smoothed it out with castor oil, over and over again. The client noticed that there was a reciprocal sensation in the upperleft side of her abdomen connecting to her ribcage. While palpating the bottom right, I also palpated and stretched the upper left abdomen to complete the unwinding of the scar tissue.
WHen the client sat up, they expressed an immense amount of relief in their back and shoulders, stating that they don't remember being able to sit up so straight without pain. THe clients eyes were much more open and bright then when I first met them.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
It took me 4 sessions of heart pleasuring before I actually touched myself in an erotic way. Once I did, I felt impatient, bored, and frustrated with the realization that I indeed have self-hatred deep inside. My practice changed in that I was dreading setting aside the time to be with myself as opposed to the initial excitement in the first few days. Facing myself has been unnerving; I can sense my unwillingness to change. Intellectually I understand what is happening, and as I process the topic of self-loathing, then I begin to consider the possibility of continuing the practice with a little more enthusiasm. It’s strange to feel like I’m still negotiating with myself if I truly deserve to feel this amazing.
When I describe heart orgasms as a possibility, people are more receptive to the concept of medibation. As I hesitate to continue the practice with same ambition I entered into it, I realize that as a bodyworker I would stress the importance of feeling safe, privacy, calm, quiet environment, and to give ourselves the patience you would give a newborn.
I had feelings of remorse, anxiety, and regret over my past sexual experiences. There was profound sadness for people not having access to this information. I was questioning my privilege in getting this information. I felt guilt for acquiring this information, knowing that it is indigenous, yet coming to it through “higher education”, there was embarrassment.
I began this practice in February 2010 when I was going through my first round of Sexological Bodywork Training.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010