Monday, September 20, 2010

Screening about Vulva Massage~!

Feeling full of love and passion, I invite you to join me at my home, Templo Xochipilli. We will be sharing a moment together on VULVA loving, munch on chocolate, taking deep/loud breaths, and perhaps get a special screening of a Feminist Erotic Film I made in college...let's share the excitement of sending me off to AUSTRALIA! Soon I'll post the outcome of this event.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Heart Pleasuring

One of the first assignments I had during Sexological Bodywork training, I had to dedicate time everyday for at least seven days to masturbation/meditation. I chose one simple exercise called heart pleasuring which is a Cherokee practice taught to youth as they begin to tap into their sexuality. It goes like this- as you inhale, you squeeze your pelvic floor muscles (like a kegel/like squeezing your bootyhole real tight)and the same time visualizing your heart pulling up the sensation of the squeeze (your erotic energy) pulling it right up into your heart. When you exhale you relax your pelvic floor. Do this with each breath, consciously for at least 15 minutes and notice how your body feels and what goes through your mind. The idea is to do this style of breathing and masturbate. The following is a description of my experience.

It took me 4 sessions of heart pleasuring before I actually touched myself in an erotic way. Once I did, I felt impatient, bored, and frustrated with the realization that I indeed have self-hatred deep inside. My practice changed in that I was dreading setting aside the time to be with myself as opposed to the initial excitement in the first few days. Facing myself has been unnerving; I can sense my unwillingness to change. Intellectually I understand what is happening, and as I process the topic of self-loathing, then I begin to consider the possibility of continuing the practice with a little more enthusiasm. It’s strange to feel like I’m still negotiating with myself if I truly deserve to feel this amazing.

When I describe heart orgasms as a possibility, people are more receptive to the concept of medibation. As I hesitate to continue the practice with same ambition I entered into it, I realize that as a bodyworker I would stress the importance of feeling safe, privacy, calm, quiet environment, and to give ourselves the patience you would give a newborn.

I had feelings of remorse, anxiety, and regret over my past sexual experiences. There was profound sadness for people not having access to this information. I was questioning my privilege in getting this information. I felt guilt for acquiring this information, knowing that it is indigenous, yet coming to it through “higher education”, there was embarrassment.

I began this practice in February 2010 when I was going through my first round of Sexological Bodywork Training.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Sexological Bodywork Training in Australia

I have the wonderful opportunity to intern/mentor a group of Sexological Bodywork students in Australia with Joseph Kramer and Ellen Heed. I am continuing my education by adding another layer of sexological bodywork, including pelvic floor scar tissue remediation, bringing feeling back to scarred/numb areas due to body dysphoria, birth trauma, sexual trauma, cesareans, etc. I am integrating this style of bodywork into my birth doula practice offering pre-natal and post-partum sexological bodywork sessions to my clients. I know that it is essential to address sexuality and pleasure as a source of power and comfort. Also, I'm sharing ejaculation education as a means to ensure women a more tangible practice in "pushing" their babies out. I'll be blogging about my experience in Australia and soon will post up my experiences from my first round of training this past Spring in San Francisco. If you'd like to contribute to my revolutionary efforts in body autonomy and pleasure please send a donation via my PayPal:
Mil Gracias!