I had the opportunity to experience a series of sessions with one practitioner. We started with mapping my sacrum and I learned that I was completely numb in my lower left side of my sacrum. The practioner slowly touched each little spot around my sacrum and I could feel various amounts of pressure, release, and pleasure. As she came to the lower left corner I could barely feel her touch. Listening carefully to my own body's non-response, I reached around with my own hand and pinched the left and did not feel pain- I then pinched my right side and I felt the pinch clearly. My heart dropped and my head was full of shock. I DID NOT KNOW I HAD NUMBNESS IN MY OWN BODY. How are we supposed to know if we can't feel something? We don't! And we live our lives day by day in this blindness. This somatic experienced blew me through the roof. I've considered myself pretty self-aware until this moment. I guided my practitioner to apply more pressure in little circles. I could feel sharp tingle down my leg to my toes, a deep relaxation through my spine, neck, face, and cranium- all specifically to the left side.
It's unbelievable how an injury that ocurred when I was 12 years old could still affect me today. The injury was a car accident that sent me flying off my bicycle and landing sideways- this stretched my left knee ligament so much that it almost snapped, so as it healed it created scar tissue in multiple places. I believed I had completely recovered from it when I stopped feeling pain. I havea a suspicion that its ahat is causing me pain in my face near my left upper teeth. I believe it exacerbates my dental work.
I had inner-vaginal mapping done and found that I have considerable tension in the 3p to 6p areaof the pelvic floor. Basically this is the parts that connect to the back left side of my knee, all the way up to my pelvic floor muscles. As my practitoner palpated these spots, I would breathe and the tension would unfurl under her still fingertip. WHen she would go back to the same spot, the tension was gone, so we moved on to the next spot. Little by little this 18 YEAR OLD SCAR was melting.
That evening I experienced my body as a more open vessel. I began to dance to loud music and was acquainted with a new motility in my hips and leg. I could feel my torso elongate. The sexy rolling motion I've been doing on my right side for years, I can now do on my left side with out this little click I used to feel. My breath is fuller, I think clearer now and I think I'm experiencing less anxiety. I feel freedom in my body, I had no idea that I had this much restriction in movement. It's opening me up to more sensations.
I also had the opportunity receive anal mapping and we discovered tight muscles near my tailbone. My tailbone is pulled in and towards the left of my spine.The practioner carefully and slowlycould put her finger on each spot of tension. I would breathe towards that area and again I could feel a stretch all the way to the front of my face. I could even feel a release of tension in my ear.
Panochas means cunt in Mexican Spanish, even though it's used as an insult, I'm using it in an empowering/reclaiming way by coupling it with the word Poderosas which means "able" and "powerful". Here I will disseminate all my discoveries, information, and beliefs about all things PANOCHA related. Brace yourself.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Receiving Sexological Bodywork- Vaginally and Anally
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Wow -- an amazing story.... is this something that you have to have repeated or did one session complete the healing process? It is amazing how much the body can mask pain to cope - probably where the numbness came from, don't you think? But it cost you the lose of pleasure too. Interesting stuff and look forward to hearing more. Ed
ReplyDeleteWow, that sounds like a really amazing experience. Thanks for sharing. I had never heard of this sort of bodywork before. I would love to hear more about your experiences as a somatic sex educator. I have always wanted to study sexuality more formally--to become a sex educator--though I think being a birth worker involves a lot of the same issues/themes.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I just found your blog and I am so excited by it! Keep up the good work.