My First Mayan Vaginal Steam Bath

A healing practice to harness my power to manifest. It reminded my ancient self of all the ways our people healed themselves forward 7 generations and backward 7 generations. Visceral knowing of power, ReClaiming. 
 Guided by Sara Flores,
I picked my herbs with clear intention and thankfulness. Rosemary, Lavender and Sage.
I placed them in water with intentions named 9 times. I am water.
I remembered the New Moon energy, it was during her extra potent medicine. I made ten wishes.

She brought me a little bowl of dried herbs, Chamomile, Calendula, more I don't remember. She said to choose how much I need, 2 big pinches. She chose rose petals and the piston of a hibiscus for me.

The water brewed. It steamed and was brought to the toilet and the handles of the pot held it up. Toilet seat down over the pot handles, a towel around the bowl, a towel for my backside and lap, to cover and hold the steam in.
Sara said she prepared it for me the way she likes it, STRONG, because intuitively she knew its how I would want and need it.
Sara lit 3 candles with a red hue, and the blatant meditative message "self-love".  At first I hovered over the steam, felt tension in my thighs and ass, a little afraid of what steam might feel like on my vulva.  It was warm, welcoming, nothing difficult to endure. I lowered my self and relaxed into it.  The steam enveloped my vulva.  I found myself reflecting at the very act of spending time with my self, alone, with candles, and the scent and energy of the herbs.  It felt ancient, my cells absorbing the droplets of water into my mucus membranes, my cells carrying on the intentions throughout my system. I felt my vagina willingly letting go of what she no longer needed, felt the sweat drip right off of and out of me, my cellular intelligence perked up, taking in the intentions, and the same time on a conscious anatomical/physiological level noticing:

- circulation increasing in my back/heat flourishing up to my shoulders, tension melting in my back
- movement in my cheeks and entire face, like  release tightness and warmth filling my face/rosy cheeks
- i could feel stagnation in my arms, specifically in my right arm where i have an ulnar nerve injury and being able to stretch my hand better.
- I remember feeling the back of my head light up. In the occiput I could feel movement-like cerebro-spinal fluid flowing.
- The most SIGNIFICANT increase in circulation was in my vulva and clitoris, I could feel blood rushing down and around and flooding.  I felt my vulva shed numbness, fear, tension and shame.  I sensed that I was becoming engorged.
- The next night I had sex and was able to feel the slightest sensation, allowing me to savor every moment, exquisitely feeling pressure, caressing, and energy of love. My tissues were open to RECEIVE love and pleasure, and it was the least scary it's been, this vulnerability.

On a sexual level, it made me aware of all my interactions with this part of my body, sharing it my partner, lovers, myself, my last painful cycle, self-exam groups, not sharing it with predators yet having it be invaded, etc.  I took time to forgive myself for ways in which I hadn't honored myself, and in the same breath I thanked myself for pursuing my pleasure and delving into exploring every aspect of owning it all. I welcomed nothing but love and pleasure in my vagina from now on.  I thanked her for sending me messages along our wild journey together. I thanked Pachamama for allowing me to re-enter my birthright of self-healing, and healing with community. 

I thought about how I had first heard of Sara in January 2010 after a long medicine journey I took along the California Coast.  A sister of the African diaspora said, You MUST meet Sara.  I took it to heart, her emphasis on how I would connect with Sara and that it was a connection that had to be made, for the sake of humanity.  I know this sounds  over the top in some ways, like really, come on.  But for reals, that message kept coming at me for the next 22 months, every where I went; conferences, meetings, events, dear people would say, you HAVE to meet Sara.  Entonces, the time came when we connected on Facebook, interchanged via messages so succinctly and met pretty quickly in real life. I gave myself the gift of visiting her in Oakland during my thanksgiving trip with my honey Diem.  Little by little, I'm collecting my chosen family.

After my session, I took my bath to the earth and offered it back. Sara stood there with me. We laughed like the brujas we are, relentlessly reclaiming.
http://www.reclaimmidwife.com/

Chula Doula Goes to Midwifery School

As the Universe would have it, I was invited to be a part of a unique study group and midwifery class.
After about 2 years as a doula, I began to have vivid dreams of catching babies.  They were incessant and profound. Twice Ina May Gaskin spoke to me in them.  This all was happening around the time I visited Peru, and more frequent while in Cusco.

I met with a Peruvian doula and told her about my baby catching dreams, shared my anxiety about not really being sure I could handle that level of education.  I had a difficult time completing my undergrad at Scripps, it took me 8 long years to graduate and be allowed to walk.  Of course there is residual trauma from seeking higher education from an institution such as Scripps College. I was not sure I wanted to go through that again. Also, I was questioning if I could actually metabolize and keep the information given to me.

She asked me if I'd ever looked into going to the Farm in Tennessee to at least take the Midwifery Assistant Training, and I responded that I thought it was too far.  She gave me perspective by saying, "Pati, you're in Peru right now, Tennessee is in your country." It was suggested that I take the week intensive and see how I digested the info.  This is the story of taking advice from people who saw something in me, when I couldn't see it.

I returned to the US determined to get to the Farm, I was hesitant yet thrilled.  Hesistant because I knew I'd be in a class most likely predominantly white/anglo, and thrilled because the material I'd be learning would be a real check-in with myself about these dreams and visions and sensations I'd been having, I'd get the chance to see if this is what I really want to do.

Tennessee was a fascinating experience, the chance to be in nature was so healing for an urban woman like me.  I could feel the lack of electro pollution, I would say it made it easier to learn and take in the education.  At the same time, it felt like knowledge being returned to me, something in my cells being awoken- completely different than college.  And of course, the class was lacking of people of color, we definitely were the minority.  You see what happens in these spaces is almost a complete disconnect from our roots, traditions, social issues, we get lumped into a general population mentality and we don't get to address disparities and our cultural differences/experiences as real information.  Don't get me wrong, I understand that birth as a whole in the US is completely taken over by the medical establishment and doulas and midwives are trying to meet the needs of folks seeking alternatives, but I'm gonna be real and tell you how hard it is as a woman of color, a queer woman of color at that, to see how much my communities are not included in these efforts, we are at the margins, and we are the ones that we've been waiting for.

SO, with all that, all the realness and all the true magic and power of manifestation that I contain within me, and within my communities-- we were handed a midwifery program that works for US.

I scoped out many schools, programs, etc. for midwifery.  None seemed to really meet me where I'm at, none seemed to value who I already was, and I wasn't about to jump through ridiculous hoops to get to where I need to be.

I was invited to present my workshop "Igniting the Revolution Within: A Sex-Positive Approach to Healing in the Postpartum" for the California Association for Midwifery Conference in May of 2011.  I was honored to be welcomed to this space of the conference and share on a subject that is beneficial to midwives doing the work.  At the same time, CAM made it a point to open the conference to folks that usually wouldn't be able to enter this specific space. Many women of color, aspiring midwives, low-income women, and doulas were invited to participate and soak in the information available to midwives.  We showed up, we were a large number, there was a MOC Caucus where we were able to share our concerns about going to midwifery school, Why hadn't we all already signed up and become legit?  What were our barriers?  What do we TRULY desire in a program?  We spoke, we shared, we were HEARD.

A few months later I, along with a select few aspiring midwives, were invited to participate in a study group that worked with our work schedules, our budgets, our interests.  We accepted.

Now we have a group of approximately 10 women- WOC and Low-income folks getting together once a month for a few days to learn collectively, share food, space, energy, healing, and love- SUPPORT- to complete a study that for many people out there, they must endure in isolation.  We refuse to continue that model of individualism, it is not sustainable.

We are able to keep our jobs, support our families and ourselves.  We are surrounded by conscious, politically and spiritually aware and aligned folks.  We've dived in head first with our hearts incredibly open, and so far so good.

We are aiming at being done in 2 years through National College of Midwifery.  If you'd like to donate to my Midwifery School Fund, please let me know, I'm willing to exchange for teaching workshops and holding informative talks on anything you see on my blog or on my FB page.

I need $5,000 to enroll officially.  Here is my paypal info: chuladoula at gmail.com


Thank you for taking the time to read. My midwifery program was made possible by the midwives at www.birthrootsbabies.com